Pay Attention

Opened my email this morning to this happy surprise.......

Congratulations!

Your piece "Pay Attention" has been accepted for publication in the Summer 2007 premiere issue of {32klx}, Central Ohio's newest independent literary journal.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask! Thank you for your submission, and for participating in our exciting premiere issue!

Sincerely,
the Editors

It's a little something I wrote months ago, and included in my submission at the last second...

pay attention

Love the calm before a storm, the eerie silence, heavy air, the smell, the quickly shifting clouds, darkening sky....I stand out on the porch to see it roll in, and stay there as long as possible. I can hear the thunder, watch the clouds form, see the weird green haze, uncertainty is palpable, and i'm standing still, waiting. I can already see the lightening and it's headed straight for me, this one isn't blowing over.
Change set up camp, started little fires and never bothered to put them out. This storm should douse the embers once and for all. Maybe I should do something, batten down the hatches....whatever that means, move to safety, put the lawn chairs away at least.....no, I'll just wait. Things are set to blow about and I'm going to let them.
Curious, but detached. Normally I navigate this life with my feelings, a person turned inside out. But so much depends on outside circumstances right now, it hardly matters what I want. Contingencies, if/then, limbo, everything is connected, blah, blah, blah.....
I wish I knew what I wanted to see happen but even if I knew what that was exactly, it wouldn't matter. Maybe it's better this way, I can't be disapointed if I'm just waiting. Besides, I've taken self sabatoge and turned it into an art form, like synchronized swimming. Always trying to one up karma. Good things happen and *pow* got to go and even the scales. Ought to send a memo, clue myself in to this stupidity .....no, who reads memos anyway.