The Money Tree, really, not kidding

Yes, that is a money tree. 

The blogging powers that be, threw this picture prompt at us this week

Instead of lamenting the fact that money doesn't grow on trees, I am going to announce my latest 'money tree' idea....that strangely enough runs directly into The Money Tree. 

Yes, the money tree is capitalized because there is such a thing, almost... well, it's a TV show concept of my new mentor, Tara Reed, so it is the very real dream of a very real and successful chic.

In looking at tackling my art again.....and doing it smarter, I was led to art licensing.

(That is the process of selling art to manufacturers, rather than just individuals.)  

At the painfully awkward wedding this past weekend, a friend/acquaintance/er,stranger with connections...encouraged me to look into it. She's been successfully marketing art for several years this way and could not believe I never followed up. Well, um, it didn't seem doable at the time. 

Now, it is simply time. 

I have the ideas, the sketches, a new domain name and a plan.

But enough about me, The Money Tree is a fantastic idea!

Tara Reed along with Bruce Feagle and Marty M. Fahncke are preparing this idea for a reality TV show. 

For the record, I am not a fan of reality TV, but the concept is really cool. 

"Each week The Money Tree team helps someone who desperately needs to find a way to earn income from home:  the soldier who has returned from the Middle East with injuries and needs to supplement disability income or the single mother of five who hasn’t gotten a raise in 2 years and is at risk of losing her home.  Each submission video is more compelling than the next:  stories of regular people trying to overcome challenges and make ends meet."   The team jets in and offers multiple ways to make money online. Cool.

They are looking for people to submit their stories here and experts to help with the show here.

 

.

The Best Nest

Remember this book?  Anyone?  I will explain at the end of this little story.

I have an out of town wedding to attend tomorrow. It's going to be over the top and slightly uncomfortable....but I won't get into any of that. All I have to do is get myself there - dressed appropriately - and smiling pretty. Okay, got the smile handled, ( I smile, or *gasp* giggle, when nervous anyways ) and can drive just fine, (especially now that gas is down to a mere $3.27 a gallon- said sarcastically) 


It was the dress that stumped me. I love dresses and have a closet full to prove it, but none seemed right, the LBD (little black dress ) wasn't special enough, and so I happily went on the hunt for the "perfect dress"

Looked at all my favorite stores....tried on some nice designs....sigh, they just weren't right. So I figured I'd look at what I have in my closet ( yes, I am still doing the 333 project - but my dresses had to stay hung in my closet - it is my only storage area, the rest of my clothes are boxed up and off limits)

Okay, I will wear the red dress. It's basically plain, except for being red, giving it that extra-special  flash. All I needed was shoes. (black looked too harsh, white too much like Minnie Mouse and...well, if I wasn't buying a new dress, I could certainly treat myself to new shoes darn it all)  -again, this was all factored in to the 333 project, I made an exception for the weddings.

I love dressy shoes almost as I love dresses. Tried on everything from a gorgeous leopard print peep toe pump to a sassy strappy white and black number that I couldn't explain if I tried. Looked at the red heels, tried on multiple colored shoes, just in case they would work ( or just because I wanted to try them on...)

What did I come home with? A fairly boring pair of nude pumps, peep toe pumps, but oh so plain. They were the practical choice, and in the store I started wondering if I really wanted to wear red....so the shoe had to go with navy blue, another favorite dress without a good pair of dressy shoes.

There was a problem, both those dresses were sleeveless, one a halter top style, the other spaghetti straps, not going to work for the church wedding. So I looked for a cover up of some kind. Won't go into all my fails in that department, but I did end up with a nice taupe jacket-like thing. I look terrible in tan, but this had a metallic look to it, so it works.....

...no it doesn't, I tried it on with the dresses and ugh..hated the look. It was so off, the color, the shape...but before I returned it, I tried on my black dress, my go-to LBD that I was trying to avoid. Huh, that looks good with the jacket, great with the shoes....wait a minute, I have the perfect thing...yes!  Took off the jacket, pulled out a lime green ruffled extra long summer scarf....perfection. The nude shoes look fine, but my own strappy sandals would have done the trick too. So I am wearing the LBD that was hanging in my closet, the lime green ruffly scarf to  the reception, will wear the jacket and the new shoes to the church.

Could have just stayed home though and been fine. 

           Click your heels and repeat after me, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.

I promised I'd explain the picture book connection, for those who have never read The Best Nest, or have forgotten the "moral of the story" here it is, The Best Nest, is basically the story of a dissatisfied bird, Mrs. Bird. She is unhappy with her nest and wishes for another, better one. Mr. Bird searches for a new nest, a better nest, only to discover in the end, that her nest is actually best. Couldn't help think how Mrs Bird like I was this week... learned my lesson ( and got a practical pair of shoes :)

That's not my name

Time to put the secrets away.  When I started this blog, I was in an entirely different place. It has gone through several changes as I got my creative sea legs...went from a wanna be artist/writer/teacher, to a muralist, gallery artist, creative writing instructor, an art teacher, sculptor's apprentice, an assistant to an art dealer.......then jumped to online freelance writing.....love the journey and my work. 

I have been a virtual creative explosion.  

 So I am renaming the blog, Creativity Explosion, which is also the name of a series of crazy, messy, fun art classes I teach throughout the school year.

I will still blog as usual, be a happy little sheep following prompts and blog challenges along the way, but it no longer feels like I am sharing secrets. So, Secrets about Secrets has been retired. Instead, like the new name implies, I am ready to explode back on the art scene, much more prepared, hopefully wiser and less wide-eyed. - in other words, I've seen the dark side of the art world and don't want to go back there again.

So, welcome to my Creativity Explosion!!!  ( I try not to abuse exclamation marks, but since I do not have any Acme dynamite lying around, three in a row will have to suffice)

 The Ting Ting's song, "That's not my name" is a favorite of mine ( for a secret reason, ha...guess some secrets still linger)  and it is an appropriate way to turn the page. Enjoy!

First Love, um, pass...

um, first love? that is the topic? seriously? 

My first thought was, no way am I actually talking about first love. Thanks to facebook, all my "secret first loves" are a bit too close for comfort. I am not nearly as brave as a fellow blogger who expertly outlined crush after crush....in detail.

Maybe I can talk about first love once removed...as I watch my kids go through their first love and cringe. So far so good, but I won't talk about them- that is far from fair. Just because I mine their lives for article fodder, does not mean I can just spill their love secrets on my blog. Even slightly disguised, that would not be right.

But then, I remembered a first love that won't make me blush, books. 

I can shamelessly confess my love affair with books. The words, the structure, the feeling and the ability to vicariously escape into new worlds.  Just like love, I fall into books too easily.  

boring, but I feel like I dodged that bullet! :)


Inside, Outside, Upside Down  was one of my very first favorites

"mama, mama I'm going to town, inside, outside upside down"....think that line was prophetic!   I have certainly been on a bumpy ride.



Watership Down totally captured my imagination, read and reread it throughout junior high...and other times...

Great Gatsby and then Zelda's biography...and then a stream of other biographies....

Gulping down book series, picking up books outside my comfort zone and then falling in love all over again...
or not. There have been books I have physically thrown, either they scared me to death, or I was so mad at how it ended.

Using books as my first love isn't really cheating, this lasting love of mine is the epitome of true love. The phases of love; initial chemistry, physical attraction, deep emotional attachment. I go through all those stages with books...yes, even physical attraction- I am not sold on ebooks, I like the experience of flipping pages and carrying books, in fact, I get practically giddy at library book sales.

There is often a dark side to love too.  Now that I am a full-time freelancer, I experience book lust, all my writer friends with their publishing contracts.. book deals...me, with my rejection pile growing....but all's well, my love is strong.

ed gorey...dr.seuss...roald dahl...(and quentin blake) ..lois lowry..

their worlds are now mine, 

love changes you.

 

Control

Spent more than half of this weekend wandering the halls of the hospital. A flukey condition, coupled with hospital policies and procedures, the personal schedule of the attending physicians and surgeons...created a situation where I had no control. As I paced, I realized how many times I have been here before...at the mercy of bureaucracy.

Hospitals, educational systems, foster/adoption agencies and the court system all render a single individual virtually helpless. No matter how much research I've done in order to prepare, or how many questions I ask - dealing with these systems is an exercise in frustration. They are not built to handle individuals as individuals....no, everyone is treated the same- p.c. extreme.

Ironically, "control" is the word of the week for the GBE2 challenge.(actually last week-little late due to the hospital stay)

Initially when thinking about this topic, I flashed back to eating disorders, mine and all the people I had met in treatment. I don't remember most of their names, but they all made an impact on my life- we thought we could be in control, but striving left us completely out of control.

Later in the week, I remembered it was the four year anniversary of the death of a close friend. It was such a sudden death, completely unexpected- no control....his death brings up all the emotions of all my losses. The twelve year old son of a girlfriend, my girlfriend, a baby of another friend, my son's twin, my miscarriages, another friend, an aunt, my grandma, a cousin and on and on...too many. No control.

Finally though, when dealing with the hospital, yet again.... I decided to just zen out.
I have control over my own reactions,
I can control how I respond to the unending waits,
I can control what I eat while there, even when the options seem to be caffeine/sugar/fat/-
I can take care of myself, read a good book, pray and leave it up to the One ultimately in charge.

Home again, weekend gone, control is only an illusion.

     

Fan the flames of creativity

Nablopomo asks, "What is the best way to fan the flames of creativity?"

In an attempt to describe my multiple careers, I often say that I am a "creative professional", unsure if this fully describes my roles as a freelance writer, artist, creative writing instructor, sculpting teacher, art teacher....those are all different- but since all require activating my creativity on a daily basis, it seems to fit. Keeping my imagination fired up is important to my success and income.

Julia Cameron's books, The Artist Way, Vein of Gold and so on.....taught me how. She is responsible for providing me with my daily/weekly/monthly plan for fanning the flames of creativity.

Her outline includes;
1. Daily journaling- 3 pages, written longhand, first thing in the morning
2. Daily walks ( I think she suggested weekly, probably in an attempt to be kind, I have to walk out my thoughts daily)
3. Artist dates: Once a week, go somewhere interesting- alone. Antique shops are good, botanical gardens, art show...this is great for fresh inspiration. ( I often cheat a bit and bring my girls, but they need it too, and since I work so much, this time out is necessary )

None of these are to be approached with any sort of "high art" mentality, more like "hey, hi how are you"  Clear space in your brain by journaling, then fill it with something new through the walks and dates and finally- I added clearing my physical space

4. Cleaning-  Once a week, (or whenever I am hopelessly stuck) deep cleaning the house and studio is a great way to turn on the creative fire, partly because while I am cleaning, I suddenly start coming up with dozens of ideas and want to stop to pursue the new rabbit trail.... Finishing up though, makes the week go much smoother.

 

Bring on the angry mob.....

NaBloPoMo asks, "What food are you really not a fan of?"  Well, those of you who have been reading along will know of my war with jello. I am not a fan of jello. Jello hates me.  I am okay with this, since as several people have pointed out, jello is a fake food. So I can easily lump it in with other fake foods that I am not a fan of.....including, but limited to, diet foods, weirdly shaped pieces of meat, sausage, bakery that falsely claims to be baked by little elves in a hollow tree, and brightly colored food-especially anything blue that shouldn't be. If my mom is reading this, I know. I know I used to eat Boo Berry cereal. I am over it.

I am also not a fan of a food that is passionately loved by many. I am almost afraid to admit how much I do not like this food, the idea of this food, and the smell of this food. 

(I use the term "food" loosely,  I can easily lump into the fake food category)
Some people may not like me anymore after this admission, but...

 “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” ~Colin Powell

Okay, here goes....I am not a fan of bacon.
blech.

people are clearly obsessed with this strange food, a quick search brings up some disturbing merchandise

it goes on...bacon flavored toothpaste, bacon flavored lip balm, bacon underwear....and on and on.
I am ready for the angry mob

bring it bacon lovers
me and my unclogged arteries can take you

within city limits

  Probably shouldn't have blogged yesterday. Strange things happen when I stream-of-conscious while under the influence of too many waking hours in a row....even with a nap thrown in for good measure. Anyways, today's NaBloPoMo question won't cause any mini-rants.

They ask, "Which band have you traveled the farthest or paid the most to see play live?"  Well, this is going to be easy-peasy. While a few of my friends live and breathe for concerts, traveling to out of town venues which involve airplane travel, hotel stays and many hours in front of their favorite bands - I don't.

The furthest I've driven is an hour-to see a local band that I usually walk up the street to see play.  I did "sleep" outside on the sidewalk (that I walked to) overnight with a friend to get tickets to Huey Lewis when I was in high school....could have cared less about the actual concert- in fact, we got tickets, but I didn't even end up going.

I can count on one hand the "famous" bands I have seen - um, Petra with a church youth group - didn't pay much attention, the outdoor venue created lots of distractions... and Janet Jackson because I won tickets....that's it, only needed two fingers.

I love music, dancing and crowds - just not so good with the planning ahead and purchasing tickets.  I like walking to see awesome bands full of unknowns doing what they love....and can listen to my favorite artists at home- as loud as I want. :) For fun, I added a clip of one of my favorite local bands....

Skinny Moo - funky fun dance party every time! 

 Love these guys. They play all around my area, indoor, outdoor, hired to play at a friends mock 40th b-day party (he was turning 39)  and benefits.....ordered T-shirts from the drummer, and had a website designed by the lead singer.... great group of guys.

Cheering squad of one

The prompt of the day is, "Who is your greatest fan?"  When I read that this morning I immediately thought- no one, not a soul, 'cept me.

What I do is what I do because of some crazed hamster wheel inside that frantically drives me to work on things no one will care about. Paintings, sculptures, articles, and creative mumbo jumbo- why?

"Why don't you just get a normal job already?"  

But then, I took a tiny nap. After pushing through today on maybe four hours of bad sleep, I was starting to shake from exhaustion. Even the gorgeous day was aggravating me with it's fluffy clouds and chirpy birds.  

After the nap, I will still say my biggest fan is within,

but this time without the "woe is me" tone. It's all good. 

But, because I am just coming off a nap, you will need to excuse a little of the "woo woo" tone. 

  I believe every person has a purpose for being - shoved down inside them, and being able to mine that is essential. God given talents and divine appointments are often unexplainable. 

Having fans can skew your plans.

I like it this way. I love what I do, what I am able to do, without a constant need for affirmation.

- now, a paycheck is nice, and I do like the ol' positive feedback, but as far as fans go,

I'm good standing on the sidelines myself.

 This is not to discount my mom, or any of my supportive friends, but in a way, I think they are fans by default, meaning, they'd love me regardless.  Oh my, this is taking an unintended narcissistic turn.

I better close, at the risk of sounding unbearably self-centered- I really believe the cheering squad needs to rise up from within in order for it to truly motivate. 

Loyal through the Muck

I like reading stuff I don't like- from authors who have previously enchanted me. I say this in response to the blog prompt of the day, "Have you ever drastically changed your opinion of an author as you read their book?  Lost your fan status?"

No, not at all.  If anything, discovering something unusually unappealing from a writer I look up to, is comforting. They are human, and sometimes write stupid too. So the only major difference between us, is that they have a publisher who loves them, and I don't. Well, and they can call themselves a writer without stumbling and over-explaining....plus the whole name recognition, book tours, royalties...semantics.

Anyways, I like knowing that they can be delusional too.

Same with poets, designers, artists, maybe especially with artists, I love seeing the crappy work, mixed in with their amazing pieces. I love that they can't see how bad it is....because I've made stuff, loved the process, loved the piece...and then looked back and thought...what was I smoking, that's awful....

I am not going to call out my favorite author, like I said, they rank even higher when they slip up. And I am not going to pick on any particular artist...we are a fragile flock. Don't dare touch a poet, they may disintegrate in front of your very eyes, you know, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. 


But I will draw attention to a particular clothing company, Forever 21 -because they are being unreasonably stupid and deserve negative attention.  The truth is they produce, um, some really, really awful pieces...mixed in with the occasional cool find. That is just the facts. The good thing is, most of the crappy stuff is also thrift store cheap, so you really are getting what you pay for. The problem is they are being nasty to style blogger Rachel Kane, threatening to sue her and shut her down. She writes WTF Forever 21 where she calls out some of Forever 21's most outrageous items....(but in contrast, she also features some of the decent clothing on  "Wonderful Wednesday")

Apparently, not only does Forever 21 produce a lot of freakishly bad clothing, they also are unaware of the term, free speech.
While Kane's site is popular, she most likely is not making much, if any money, off her blog. Really? Sue her for pointing out stuff like this..

  Can the collective public sue Forever 21 for producing clothing for the people of Walmart?

please.



 





 

Late to the Month of June

I'm late to the month of June. How is it already the 9th?  Well, anyone who knows me, even casually, knows I am perpetually late....or even, believe it or not, ridiculously early. The two actually go hand in hand.

Tick tock, tick tock- is that the only song you can sing?  How 'bout tickity tockity tock tock tock, for once, or, tick TOCK tick TOCK, ticktock ticktock ticktock (Jaws-like)  Time is nothing but a one-hit wonder.

If by chance you have never experienced this flaw of mine, then know I either took herculean effort to be on time, or you were just extremely lucky.

At the end of May, I signed up for nablopomo (National Blog Posting Month)  each month they issue a different theme, each day they send out a different prompt. I didn't forget exactly, just figured I could catch up quick. 9 days, shocking....and confession- I forgot the acronym, so missed the memos.

June- Fan Month 
So, I will be brief... and make this all myspace/facebook quiz-like.

1st What sports team are you a fan of?  Officially, Cavaliers. I sort of invested myself into the season, writing about them a few times a week...so I like them even more than I did before. (bonus, they did, in fact, pay for my daughter's schooling-through the articles)

2nd What band?  Cat Empire - and locally, Skinny Moo. My good friend Dave introduced me to those guys, which- while I still love the band- makes it hard to go see them now that he is gone. 

3rd What author made you become a writer. I've always been a writer, but Julia Cameron had the most to do with me taking the leap into the professional realm- first with art, then teaching, now writing - my big top three...there are two more, secret roles "she" is currently helping me through her words.

4th and 5th are "rest days" 

6th  What is the difference of being a fan and fanatic. A fan likes what you do, but is not as committed, if you stop doing what they like- they move on. A fanatic does not care what anyone thinks, or what their object of fanaticism does- they still love them.

7th Are you a fan of a certain brand. eh, probably, maybe...a fan, not a fanatic. Jergen's comes to mind, I am slightly infatuated with their original cherry almond scent lotion. 

8th What are you not a fan of.   hmpf, I am not a fan of my 'writer shape' I chained myself to my laptop for two years to see what I could make of myself...the career is going well, the shape, well that needs some work. 

That brings me to the 9th. amazingly- seriously, where did the month go?  It wouldn't hurt if time just awarded June two extra weeks to even everything out. (a friend posted that as her facebook status, perfect) 

June 9th
Question: Are you the fan of an actor or actress?  Glad I am just glossing over this one, movies and actors tend to blur. There are a few who might make me go see a movie just because they are in it...John Cusack and his snarky, too cool for school attitude is one. Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore, maybe Meg Ryan...
I like movies, I don't usually pull the actor out of the set. If they are any good, they stay on the screen, in character, forever.

and about the whole late thing...teachers, students, administration, teams, family, friends, workout partners.... 
I am sorry. Part of the problem stems from a "great solution" someone suggested, "Change your clocks, so that they read 25 minutes faster."  For the record, this does NOT work...it only moves me further and further into "plenty of time" mode since I have no idea what time it actually is anymore...and can't do the math to figure it out.

Cheers!

more nablopomo tomorrow. 

Lost and Found

The topic of the week is "Lost and Found."  The first thing I thought of when reading this prompt was how often I get lost. I was not given a sense of direction, no, in it's place, I have a scrambler. My advanced ability to connect random things together means that I often get lost in thought and find myself traveling down unexpected paths.

love these tights....

      although you will find out exactly why

you probably shouldn't follow me 

unless you are ready for an adventure!

Soon after moving into my neighborhood, I took the kids trick or treating. My older kids confidently ran off with friends, leaving me with my little one. We happily went door to door in the dark, until her feet were tired. I looked up and realized I didn't recognize a single thing. Not a thing. We walked for a while. Then, admitting defeat I started asking people if they happened to know where my street was located.

Unfortunately, not only am I really good at getting lost, I am also excellent at forgetting left and right. So, it really didn't matter if someone told me to go to the corner, take a right, then two lefts and another right....I wouldn't remember...hmmm, was that two rights and a left, or a left, two rights....did I already take a right, or was that a left? My right, or your right?  ugh.  Once I even blurted out, "Do you know where I live?" "Do you recognize me?" It didn't matter that I had a cell phone on me. Who would be able to walk me through the maze sight unseen, with my sketchy knowledge of locations?

I did make it home. Embarrassed, with a tired crying daughter and a new found resolve to figure out the neighborhood.  I will commit street names to memory. I will be able to tell anyone, at any time,  how to get to my house, the little one in the center of the labyrinth.

But...years later, I am still stuck. Last weekend someone asked how to get back to the main road from my house and all I had was gibberish to offer. Now I am afraid to walk the dog in case they are still driving around aimlessly- full of murderous thoughts over my insane directions.

So what.  I get lost.   It just is what it is. 

Eventually I find my way, or am found.....or worse found out. 

For whatever reason, I am often chosen to chaperone events. This is really a strange role for me. Driving a van full of teens around in a strange city.....?  One year I was paired up with another directionless chaperone and we found ourselves completely, utterly, unbelievably lost in the sand dunes. Seriously...nothing to see but sand in every direction. No water, oh and did I mention the black clouds, there was a storm on it's way. 

We did have another chaperone with us who claimed to have an "inner GPS" but even that could not save her from our spinning inner compasses.  

(if you are wondering, "so, who was watching the kids" yeah, not us)   

- my directionless companion actually spotted a telephone pole...

and figured, 

where their are telephone poles...

there is civilization.

We found our way out!  Miles from the car, but we were out!

and my knack for getting hopelessly lost was found out.

 

Funny thing though. I found that I am really, really good at corn mazes. Living in the Midwest, corn mazes are a fall tradition and, traditionally I find my way without all the confusion of regular life. Peculiar.

~The End~

           

Figuring out Success

The GBE2 word of the week is Success. I am supposed to write about success. Truth is, I don't want to. What can I say - I have very little experience with that word. When that assignment came out last weekend, I was surprised by my reaction....turns out I don't like the word.  But since I have to blog about it, I will try to figure out why, (yup, right in front of your eyes) So, welcome to my "secrets" about success. I apologize in advance, this is definitely not, "the secrets to success," or anything of the sort.  

I don't know how to measure success....it's like someone is constantly moving the finish line, or raising the bar, changing the rules.....as soon as you just about reach it, poof...you realize you have a long, long way to go yet. I guess that is good. I wouldn't want to just live life sitting on the finish line.

It's like having a child....finally a baby is on the way...can't wait for him or her to arrive...whew, success the baby is born....but that is not the end....figuring out how to feed and care for the tiny thing...walk....talk....drive a car....graduate...get a job....it's never ending, and then if they fail, did you fail?  Where did the success line go?  One of my sons is graduating 6th grade. I am shocked at all the parties and hoopla surrounding this "success"....I want to raise my hand and say, um- just a sec, you know this is far from over right?

As a freelancer, and as an artist....success is just as uncertain and ever-changing. The roller coaster of highs and lows, ridiculous speeds and long long waits never quite feels like success. The biggest success I suppose is just being able to do what I love for a living.  Even then, whoo hooo, yippeee, new assignments, published piece, sold artwork, editor liked it, art show....where do I shout, "Success!" ?  Those are all intermingled with rejections, critical comments, dusty art, more rejections....hmmm success?   Would selling my book make me a success?  Or was writing it enough to constitute that label?  Would losing ten pounds make me a success, or is simply being able to run without dying make me a success. Health, happiness, roof over my head...

I'm not disillusioned. There was never a time in my life that I could say I had success mapped out. It's not like I had a concrete plan....instead I have a great big list of things to try, things to experience, places to go, things to see, even jobs to have....

....but since one of the definitions of success simply means "the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted." Then I am a success. I plan, desire and attempt lots of stuff....and surprisingly am occasionally successful at pulling them off one way or another.  (it's the other definition of success I am not so successful at "the gaining of fame or prosperity.")

Success is a long winding path through a dark forest

and since I love dark forests

......

success and I have made up

xoxo

thank you GBE2 

you've saved my rocky relationship

with success.