The prompt of the day is, "Who is your greatest fan?" When I read that this morning I immediately thought- no one, not a soul, 'cept me.
What I do is what I do because of some crazed hamster wheel inside that frantically drives me to work on things no one will care about. Paintings, sculptures, articles, and creative mumbo jumbo- why? "Why don't you just get a normal job already?"
But then, I took a tiny nap. After pushing through today on maybe four hours of bad sleep, I was starting to shake from exhaustion. Even the gorgeous day was aggravating me with it's fluffy clouds and chirpy birds.
After the nap, I will still say my biggest fan is within,
but this time without the "woe is me" tone. It's all good.
But, because I am just coming off a nap, you will need to excuse a little of the "woo woo" tone.
I believe every person has a purpose for being - shoved down inside them, and being able to mine that is essential. God given talents and divine appointments are often unexplainable.
Having fans can skew your plans.
I like it this way. I love what I do, what I am able to do, without a constant need for affirmation.
- now, a paycheck is nice, and I do like the ol' positive feedback, but as far as fans go,
I'm good standing on the sidelines myself.
This is not to discount my mom, or any of my supportive friends, but in a way, I think they are fans by default, meaning, they'd love me regardless. Oh my, this is taking an unintended narcissistic turn.
I better close, at the risk of sounding unbearably self-centered- I really believe the cheering squad needs to rise up from within in order for it to truly motivate.
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