A is for aim, shoot, FIRE

A is for aim, shoot, FIRE

Okay, with this post, the Z to A in May challenge is complete. It actually all started back in March when I signed up for the A to Z April challenge...which morphed into the Z to A, and set me back on the bloggy path and put me in touch with other oddballs who throw their heart out into cyberspace repeatedly. 

Daily blogging also helped me solidify some new goals - and get my "voice" back after mindlessly following a writing template for a particular company...writing with a more authentic voice feels so much better and it brings my creativity back out to play. 

We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect."
~Anais Nin

Aim - ask yourself what you want to accomplish

Shoot - take shots at your goal .....everyday

Fire - and hit the bullseye!  

while you're at it...

ignore the chattering birds in the trees - those who say it can't be done

ignore the rain on your head - distractions

ignore the fear - just shoot

ignore the "need" for the latest and greatest gun - use what you've got, if it is the equivalent of a cork gun or simply a finger pointed in the shape of a gun - use it and move in the direction of your goal. 

B is for Break

 B is for Break

This weekend, I slammed on the brakes. Stopped working for three full days, let my over-worked laptop take a much needed vacation, (even dusted the poor thing, and cleaned it's keys.)  My initial plan was to deep clean on Saturday, catch up on laundry and all that jazz, and squeeze a few hours of work in here and there.

But, the bike was calling to me, the water wouldn't leave me alone and I missed just Being...

so....

I took lonnnnngggg bike rides, played catch, walked the dogs until their paws were sore, went to the lake, weeded the gardens, split plants, watched a couple movies, played a game, cooked several (really good) meals, went to the pool, slept, watched the parade and sat outside with...(depending on the time of day,) coffee, ice water, popsicle, tea... ahhh, life.

Normally, I do manage most of those things, but only in between working, or with my all the gears in my head turning- just waiting to break away and type. This weekend....I paused and looked around, refocused and 
 what do you know, I feel refreshed and ready for this week. Going to file away this feeling and try it out again....here's my recipe for a good break, because...

YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY 

Break Recipe

• Be brave, unplug – and walk away. 48 - 72 hours away from the computer isn't always possible, but what a treat. As a side note....did you know, unplugging a wonky dishwasher, letting it sit and the plugging it back in can jumpstart it?  I thought my dishwasher was dead until I read that little tip...it works again!
• Be ruthless, create space – There was nothing scheduled this weekend, (which won't always be the case) but I can stop insanely over-scheduling. And although I was away from work, I did ruthlessly clean and declutter Saturday...which seemed to create a pocket of calm on its own.   
• Be deliberate, slow down - pace yourself. With temperatures in the high 90's this weekend, moving slower happened naturally. Even faced with a messy hall closet, playing tortoise rather than hare got the job down in probably the same amount of time.
• Balance - moving with resting...and fully engage in both. Exercising or getting things done should be balanced with actual resting....like sitting and staring, or napping. 

 After writing this all done, it seems so silly, so simple...but I needed the reminder and the experience. It has been a long time since I actually took a real break. Even when I went to the Outer Banks....I worked 6 hours a day at least, wrote outlines on the beach and took pictures for future articles....(but, this was necessary, I needed to make the money for the trip home ...and so we could do fun things while there.. ) still, working non-stop really doesn't make me more productive, like housework, it seems to stretch and fill whatever allotted time you allow it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

..........and on another note, after spending so much quality time with my bike this weekend, I realized I need a bike bell ( okay, I don't NEED a bike bell, just really don't like shouting, "on your left." would much rather ring a little bell to announce my presence.  I went to look for a bell this morning and was surprised by the choices...now I am undecided and bell-less still.  I like the 2 classic bells, "I love my bike" and the Electra rose ( I have a pink and white Electra townie) But...the coffee cup- nice,...and there is a tea pot ...and a soccer ball for my son.... bike accessories galore!

C is not for Cleaning

C is not for Cleaning

Today is an intense deep cleaning day, full of ruthless decluttering and spring cleaning activities that shouldn't be described in polite company.... so it would stand to reason that my C word for the day would be cleaning, 

ugh, that is so boring and I've talked enough about simplifying...

it's time to just do it and shut up already. 

but

 I clean best to music and as I pulled out my favorite CD's I realized, ha, there were an awful lot that started with the letter C

Cranberries, Cake, Cat Empire, elvis Costello, soundtrack to Chicago, red hot Chili peppers....

so that's it

C is for all those great artists with C's in their name.

(see, that would have made a lousy title) 

anyways, I have work to do so,

enjoy a couple of the songs I'll be listening to today 

and a random dress just because

Cat Empire

Fishies

Cake

Love you madly

Elvis Costello dress from Idil Vice

D is for Do

 D is for Do 

.

 Do or do not, there is no try

                                ~Yoda

.....so, in my last post I introduced the 33 project. This is going to be harder than I thought. So many decisions. Although I really do wear basically the same outfits over and over...I like having the option of maybe wearing something different. Besides, I whined to myself as I stood in my closet, summer is finally here....I love love love sundresses. Could I really cut my collection of dresses down to just a few?  And then there are the shoes; leopard print flats, heels, sandals...oh my!  This is going to take discipline.

In the only Star Wars trilogy that matters*, Yoda made it clear you just have to set your mind to a task. 

No wobbling in the noggin,

get rid of the wishy washy weak stuff and

Just Do It.

 Saying, "I'll try," gives you an easy out, "Well, I tried."  Baloney, fence walkers eventually fall one way or the other. (this is really directed at my own weak self...no offense intended)
 

1. Decide - what change do you want to make - and Write it Down
2. Determine how - break it down into baby steps
3. Drop - cut less important things to make room for the change (edit)
4. Do - let Yoda lead the way
5. Dance!  (rinse and repeat)  in other words, do it again. Decide another area to tackle and DO IT.  




*the only Star Wars that matters....I am NOT a fan of the "new" Star Wars....Anakin makes me want to throw things..."don't go to the dark side stupid, don't do it....."

E is for Edit

E is for Edit

.....as a writer, I do my fair share of editing, and spend too much time worrying about submitted pieces, while I am waiting for my editors to edit....

but that is not what this blog post is about.

Instead, I am talking about editing your life-

Edit: correct, modify, adapt and eliminate everything that weighs you down.

 

There are a few main areas that need constant editing in my life: what I say yes to, my office and my closets.

Taking the time to make the necessary cuts, is essential to keeping sane. Moving from a big house to a small house made me pare down everything from furniture to books and toys, but it is a constant battle.

Even after the big move and all the cuts made, my born neat daughter cleaned out the attic and I was able to take an entire truck load to the dump....where did it all come from? 

Does clutter actually multiply? I think it does, put it in a warm, dark place and watch it grow...

Time to be tough. Edit Mr. Clean-style.

Edit the Yes

I've also gone through and edited the companies I work for, cutting out several that don't really line up with my ultimate goals. I've stopped going to art shows, stopped selling art online and stopped looking for new 'out of the house' jobs...this frees me up to really throw myself into one main career....with a little peripherals like teaching once a week and a tiny bit of commission work.    

Edit the office

As much as I try to keep my desk neat, when I am under pressure to make money, (hello, end of month)...or have too many deadlines or difficult assignments...this spot becomes my little cave. I am comfortable among piles of books, papers and computers...but the chaos really doesn't help. Time to toss and sort!

Edit the closets

I came across this intriguing website Project 333 - that proposes living with only 33 items. Every 3 months you are encouraged to choose 33 items including clothes, accessories, jewelry, outerwear and shoes! 

(she doesn't make you count underwear, workout clothes or sleepwear thankfully!)  The rest of your wardrobe is to be boxed up, sealed and stored out of sight.  So, for three months those 33 items are rotated exclusively. This extreme simplicity makes me go aaaaaaaaa....thinking I will give it a go. I can imagine saving so much time on the whole, "hmmm, what should I wear today?" game. 

Pairing down shoes and accessories will be strange, but I won't have to play flamingo in front of the mirror anymore,  (what looks better with this outfit, this shoe, or that shoe),  or for at least three months.

 Be More with Less is by the same author, Courtney Carver....I haven't delved too far into this site yet, but it looks interesting...and as I edit, I'll be freeing up more time to read. :) 

  Time to grab boxes, trash bags and a ruthless attitude! 

F is Fabulous!

F is for Fabulous!  

You are fabulous. 

It's true, you can trust me. I know fabulous. 

My daughter was recently paid a wonderful compliment- that, "she is so comfortable in her own skin, she knows who she is."  At nearly 17 - that is a big deal. She really isn't insecure, worried about her weight, or her life purpose, she's not fretting over boys, or gossiping all hours of the day and night.... Somehow, someway, this fat-phobic, insecure, people pleasing, scaredy cat managed to raise a healthy teen who is pleasant to be around, she has big goals and a reasonable plan. Her room is neat, she volunteers her time, is kind to the sister she shares a room with....and on and on... she's fabulous....and I am flabbergasted. 

This post was going to be on Fat...my war with fat, how I look back at pictures and am shocked to realize that I actually wasn't as big as a house...in fact, I was quite thin at the time I was at my most obsessed. But that got me thinking, how did my daughters escape that fate?  All the experts say not to let your daughters hear you talk negative about your weight...and all that jazz, I not only talked negative, I have been quite the mess.,...running obsessively, dieting nonstop...landing myself in a nice quiet facility at one low point in my life. 

But. 

My daughters are fabulous. They choose healthy food, or not, exercise sanely,  laugh at my insistence they drink lots of water...but then they do....swim suit season doesn't strike fear into their hearts, they wear their suits and enjoy their strong, healthy bodies. what a concept. 

So, I must be good at encouraging, so I am here to tell you YOU are fabulous too.

enjoy this tune from Phineas and Ferb

You're Fabulous 

I don't mean to tell you what you are you know,
Your the one with style your the whole darn show,
The other guys play their instruments fine,
But next to you their looks are a crime.

Well they say true beauty it comes from within,
But your have to be comfortable in your on skin,
So I exfoliate with this exotic cream,
Just look at me I look like a dream!

You're the one yes you're the star
We need you back on bass guitar
Your Fabulous (I'm Fabulous!)
Your Fabulous (I'm fabulous!)
You're the one we all can see it's all about you (its all about me)
Your Fabulous (I'm Fabulous!)
You're fabulous (I'm Fabulous!)

Now no two people are like each other
So don't be a look-a-like copying another
Unless of course you're copying me!
Because that gives you individuality!

Nice do! So back to the matter of my words
So what do you say?
Are you back in the band?

Well maybe if I can fine my old leather!
DUDES WERE GETTING THE BAND together!

You're the one who sets the bar
Your hairdo king of fashions are
You're fabulous (I'm fabulous)
You're fabulous (ooh I'm fabulous)
You're the one we all can see it's all about you
(It's all about me!)
Your Fabulous (I'm Fabulous)
Your Fabulous (I'm Fabulous)

G is for GBE

 Since today is G-day, I figured I'd introduce the GBE 2 (Group Blogging Experience take 2) Apparently this was a big deal back in the Myspace days....I didn't know this group of awesome bloggers back then, but am thrilled to be invited to join the in-crowd.  

What will happen is each week the blog queen, Elizabeth over at Word Nerd, introduces a topic. Then, all the bloggers in the GBE 2 jump in and throw their thoughts about it on their own blogs. Once completed, the blogger adds their name to the master list.

Since this is my blog and I can do what I want...I am going to piggyback this G post with the GBE topic. Ta da!

The first topic is EXPECTATIONS. 

(capitalized for effect)  

Expectation is the state of looking forward to something or anticipating. What do you expect?  The truth is you often get what you expect. If you expect to have a miserable time, you will. If you expect your kids to act like idiots, they probably will. If you expect to gain weight over the holidays... there is a self-fulfilling prophecy at work. What we see really depends on what we are looking for.  

I have already admitted my pollyanna tendencies, I really do expect the best out of people, including myself. I expect things will ultimately work out and expect that I will have what I need when I need it. 

Regardless of reality. 

There were a lot of people duped this past weekend. They truly expected to be raptured on Saturday. Harold Camping was convinced, and he convinced others. I've been there. Completely oblivious to the truth, believing in something so deeply that nothing, and no one, could change my mind. You would think the let down would be devastating. For me, it's really not, I just need something big to look forward to, even if it is ultimately a fantasy. 

The experience of expecting down to my very toes is electrifying and perfectly fine with me. As long as I can muster up another big thing to anticipate....then all's well in my world.

I would be worried if I got to the point where life took on a gray tone of low expectations. 

Sometimes this life of big expectations is hard to explain to logical thinkers 

but that won't stop me from

wildly expecting miracles and magical coincidences

Having big expectations about life does not have to set you up for failure. 

Set goals HIGH, take baby steps, look for any teeny tiny hint that you are at the very least facing the right direction and don't stop believing. 

~so says pollyanna

H is for Hint

Just a hint, a heads up...like Dylan said, times they are a'changin.  As usual, facts are sketchy, but there is a strong feeling that the ground under my feet is going to shift again. Just like the ominous clouds rolling in once again, I can almost see a hint of something on the horizon.  I would be scared, if I wasn't such an adrenaline junkie.

Over the years I've ran from change, forced change, had change jump out of the bushes and scare me....this time I think I'll try throwing out the welcome mat and invite change in for tea.

"Hello change, I've been expecting you."

I am not good at cards, pictionary-like board games, charades or guessing games of any kind...I am easily distracted by hints, thrown off course and sent down a rabbit trail in my mind. One thing leads to the other...and then another,  rarely getting back to the truth. I can get lost in the possible connections, pull together completely unrelated subjects and turn facts upside down and inside out. Not bragging, this is not really a useful skill.

But, knowing there is something stirring, brings the color back into life. Good change, bad change, strange change, it almost doesn't matter. Even the very worst changes in my life come with treasures....treasures that can only be found in the darkness. Like this poem by Adrienne Rich, I can find something good if I look hard enough.

There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
hanging innocently
close to the side of the schooner....
I go down...
I came to explore the wreck...
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail....


That's what she said.....now here is one of mine....

Does the caterpillar know?

when instinct kicks in
does she know this is it?
the life she knew will not be there when she comes back
does she know?
wrapped up
tucked away
left in the dark
does she dream?
i do
hidden away
there's little left but dreams
visions of the future
nightmares of the past
i know
i know the life i had won't be there when i come back
the life, the name.
gone without a trace.

~sylvie branch

I is for I

 I say I an awful lot.....I know it is odd talking about myself all the time, but I guess that is what I am good at. Many of the assignments that are tossed my way are expected to be "blog-like" opinion oriented pieces, so I have to insert my own personal feelings, or talk about what I think about a certain product, or the best way to do something (according to moi) it's what I am paid to do...and then there is this silly blog full of stories and "secrets" about me, me, me. What I've done, what I think, what I like, secrets about secrets stored up inside spill out on the page. Now with these challenges, the A to Z and the Z to A..and the upcoming GBE 2 (more on that tomorrow) and better exposure on online companies, more people are actually reading my thoughts - it can be a little disconcerting.

So, I am taking a break from talking strictly about myself to present another I word and another writer. This author/artist/educator is one of my favorites. J. Ruth Gendler wrote the very sweet book, The Book of Qualities. In it she gives voice to different personal qualities, personifies them. I used this technique in all of my creative writing classes with very cool results. Students from second grade through high school really got into this lesson. (oops, back to myself), but I really do appreciate her mythical way of writing. 

Here is what she wrote about Innocence

Innocence talks to old people on the commuter train. 

Sometimes she talks to herself, sometimes she talks to the man sitting next to her hiding behind the newspaper, sometimes she talks to the window, and sometimes she sings a little song. 

She tells secrets in between her words,

but most people don't think they're secrets because she says them right out.

She told me that it takes a lot of sophistication for her to stay innocent. 

(that was a secret)

Since her affair with Danger she is not afraid of anything.

There are so many nuggets of intuitive truth in her essays. In writing this post, I've taken several breaks to reread the book....about Perfection, she includes this phrase, "....Perfection needs to keep moving. Otherwise she becomes swollen with her obsessions. She has learned to dance at the very center of her fears....."  

Intriguing

Intuitive

Imaginative

I love it.

J is for Jello

J is for Jello

Jello and I go way back. My mom would sometimes let me put a splat of cool whip on a bowl of oddly colored jello or make those nifty little jello jigglers cut into fun little shapes. And I absolutely loved that layered jello dessert with the pretzel crust that was made only for company, yum. When I waitressed at a crazy college bar, part of my job was to make jello shots and then sell them. They were good, not a problem. It's true, we used to get along.

But, for whatever reason, jello hates me.  I cannot make it anymore. It seems simple enough; hot water, dissolve, cold water, wait, voila - jello. No, not for me. It lured me in too....see, I made my own, incredibly impressive, jello dessert with the pretzel crust for a New Years Eve party. It was a huge hit, everyone loved it..asked for the recipe....took some home. ( not only was it awesome, it was made in an enormous pan too, extra impressive) 

So, I figured I finally had something special to bring to gatherings, something I would be "known" for, as in "Oh, be sure to ask Sylvie to bring the jello dessert." This made be proud and happy. I was finally a grown up with a special recipe. I was ready for this....until Jello and I had a showdown in the kitchen one fateful morn.  

My son invited all of his nearest and dearest to his graduation party last year....in other words, he posted the invite on Facebook, yikes!  We had hundreds of people coming...yes, seriously. So, of course I was planning on making "my famous Jello dessert" - even though I flupped it up once since the big reveal - figured it was just a fluke- I purchased many boxes of jello, bags and bags of pretzels, cream cheese, sugar, eggs, raspberries and a new large pan, since I was going to make at least two huge batches. 

Something went terribly wrong....the first batch didn't set - at all. In fact it made the crust all gross and soggy....tried again, nope, nothing gelled....by this time I was running out of time, and bowls in the kitchen....so I grabbed the black bowl from on top of the fridge, poured in the hot water and jello.....and it poured all over the floor...(the black bowl from on top the fridge was apparently a fairly weak plastic, it melted)  

Now, I am getting concerned....guests were going to be arriving, the floor is red and sticky, there was other food to get ready - and of course the dishwasher decided to join in the fun and start leaking.....) 

BUT, I do not give up easily. I took a deep breathe, this was not the time to panic. I ran up to the store- got more supplies- and started yet again,  slower,  more deliberate, this jello was not going to beat me. I measured, poured, stirred...waited...  

....and waited....threw in the freezer to help it along....nothing. It was time to just forgetaboutit....we had a big ol' cake and plenty of people bringing assorted goodies....but I couldn't forget.  This was personal now. I thought, okay, maybe the pans are just too big, I'll try a small batch, just a little bit of jello, really how hard could it be? 

The jello won that day. 

I can't look at jello without starting to twitch. It got me. It got me good. I surrender Mr. Jello. You and your artificial flavorings and color, you and your red dye #5; you won, buddy, you won fair and square. 

    

K is for Keys....wherever they are...

Dude, where's my keys?

I lose things. I get lost. I do not keep a regular schedule. These are all well-documented facts. 

Losing my keys, purse, shoes, documents, bills, checkbook....happens all the time. 

Luckily, I have a small house....so items really can't go that far. (or so you would think) After a brief game of hide and go seek, and focused attention, I can find the lost item and go on. This is part of my life.

My biggest fear though, is losing my memory. My grandma lost a lot of what made her "her" toward the end of her life and that scares the bejeebers out of me. 

While I have always...ALWAYS...been flighty and forgetful....partly due to "living in my head" ...the streaming news feed from my private weirdness central creativity channel definitely plays a part, but so does the fact that I have hypothyroidism - along with the lovely side effects such as fatigue, weight gain, dry skin, low blood pressure and cold intolerance; memory problems are a distinct issue. I take a big ol'dose of medication everyday...but also research natural ways to boost my brain power....and find my dang keys.  

Grandma also had a major case of hypothyroidism and personality-wise, we were a lot alike, she was a songwriter, a talented poet, slightly wild in her own way and a big health nut. This also scares me- she jumped rope daily, built her own solar powered home in the middle of nowhere, pursued her writing career and yet...got seriously lost somewhere inside herself.

I will not give in to the "aging theory" those who continually say, "oh, you're just getting old"  I really believe a lot of what is delegated to aging can be a simple lack of nutrition, exercise and use.....(even with my grandma as an exception..)    I plan on living to organize my 75th high school reunion....

So, I read all the anti-aging, brain-boosting articles I can find...and have a running list of things to try. Here are my recent favorites that, even if they don't "work" are enjoyable for the present.

Rosetta Stone - learning a new language - even though a part of me thinks I won't be able to....

Colorful food - no, not jelly beans - homegrown stuff - berries, spinach....

Sleep - after conducting a research assignment for an online company, I am completely convinced sleep is a HUGE deal. HUGE. 

Ban Toxins - I try to be all green and hippie-chick...but the truth is, toxic products, cleaning and beauty, are usually cheap....so I am consciously working on this one. Figuring out how to use natural stuff on a daily basis, not just when I am on a "kick."   Baking soda, vinegar, lemon....they do work - just have to remember ....

 Friends - this is where my grandma and I differ, to a point. Like her I could be perfectly fine without a lot of interaction...I am never bored....but, a lot of anti-aging research points to building relationships...so, I have to take the leap and try to make, and keep, friends. (hence dancing buddies and sports....plus it's a whole lot of fun, once I drag myself out :)

So, that's part of the plan to keep the electricity firing in my brain properly....

In the meantime people are just going to have to be patient while my keys, shoes, library books, bills and I are playing hide and seek.   

Read more anti-aging tips
Build a better brain
Anti-aging and aglets
Age Erasers - fashion tips

 

L is for Luxury

Lots of great L-ideas today...

I figured I could write about life, or love, or being late....have plenty to say on those three words...or maybe even lies, lonely, longevity or getting lost...but I think I will just keep it simple today and list a few of life's little luxuries.

It is possible to LIVE LARGE without having money to spare. I used to say I could be happy living in a cardboard box...but since I don't want to have the chance to test it out-I stopped making that assertion.What I really mean by that phrase is that it doesn't take much to make me happy. The "lifestyles of the rich and famous" really aren't all the appealing to me. A person can be rich without having money to spare at the end of the month.


A few of life's little luxuries

Luxury of Kindness
"Random acts of kindness"....cliche?  maybe, but there is an extravagance in surprising someone, a stranger even, with something that will make them smile. Plan a stealth mission of kindness-guaranteed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
 
Luxury of Nature.

I feel lucky to live in an area with 4 distinct seasons...there is as much beauty in the icy blanket of snow and ice as the colorful fall days, the clear blue summers and yes, even the non-stop rain that we are currently experiencing. I am a tree hugger, so when I saw that my magnolia tree wasn't blooming again this year...I started to assume it was dead. BUT, after 5 straight days of rain, lo and behold...bright green leaves have sprouted, whew!

While I have been utterly disappointed in human nature lately, nature itself is still full of wonder.

Aside from my beloved trees and forests, there are lakes and mountains, flowers, stars, rocks, caves and oceans of beauty to fill your senses with....ah, luxurious

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
~Anne Frank
.
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we only will tune in.
~George Washington Carver

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.
~Mother Teresa 



Luxury of wandering.
I am generally against cruises, amusement parks and the like. It's a knee-jerk reaction,...I have an almost instantaneous dislike for anyplace that demands that you have fun....wandering is free and can lead to its own fun adventures. A bike isn't free, but it does give you freedom- especially from gas prices. Make up your own fun as you go along.

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. Robert Louis Stevenson

Now, you can enjoy these luxuries one by one, ....or you can combine all three; random surprises for strangers, extravagant nature and wandering by making guerrilla gardening seed bombs. ( no, it is not an L word...but when I connect the dots it works for this post....G-day will have to find a new word)

(the link takes you to a history of the seed bombs and different varieties) 

   Some people have made them inside egg shells, or balloons...or my favorite, shaped like an actual grenade.

 

How to Make Seed Bombs (the simple, low-tech version) 

You will need; 

Clay- either dig up some from your area, or purchase a container of Crayola Air Dry Clay for a few dollars

Seeds -use seeds for flowers and plants that are native to your area for best results

Compost or worm castings

If you are using clay from the earth, mix 5 parts clay with 1 part compost and 1 part flower seeds. Add a few drops of water and then roll it out on the table. Cut into small pieces and then roll into balls.

If you are using Air Dry Clay, roll out a piece of clay. Sprinkle compost and press seeds on top. Cut into small pieces and then roll into balls.
 

Let the balls dry out before hurling them into sad, barren areas that need a little love.

......and now- The Eurythmics, music, words, art....more luxuries :)   

Would I lie to you?

M is for Mahna mahna

M is for Mahna Mahna from the Muppet Show

guaranteed to stick to your brain like a bowl of mac n cheese on your thighs

meaningless

make-believe

Sesame Street and the Muppet Show sealed my fate. Through countless episodes, (thankfully, I was blessed with three younger sisters and a mom who loved the silliness as much as I did-so watching as a teen wasn't so unusual..), I realized that my obsession with make believe wasn't "so" off the mark; there is a place for the creative, the off-beat and odd. I would be okay afterall. Although my grades in school were good to excellent - I was far from smart (test taking is different than comprehension, and I continue to struggle with anything math or science related...oh who I am kidding, anything logical is beyond me.  

Those silly episodes showed me that Art was a viable option. There is a NEED for creativity and weirdness in the world.  I veered from that path here and there...taking "regular" jobs and trying my best to be "normal" to fit into some acceptable mold....but I am at my best and happiest when doing the most unusual careers. I've been a muralist, a creative writing teacher, worked in a modeling agency (hated that), welded and taught puppetry...now I write and teach a bit.  Granted freelance writing isn't so weird... but the freedom lets me focus on my own writing and artwork. Assignments that make me think and study, can be alternated with creative lesson plans and bizarre sculptures. I teach Creativity Explosion! classes, lovin' the mayhem and mess that ensues. 

For this, and Mahna Mahna, I thank you Jim Henson. 

N is for Name

That's not my name ~ by the Ting Tings

N is for Name

I love names. More specifically, I love looking at the meaning of names. Some even suggest that your name shapes your destiny. This theory isn't all new agey hipster talk. Biblically, names had deeper meaning than just sounding clever, or popular. God Himself changed people's names as they grew and changed, Saul became Paul, Abram, became Abraham and so on...

As a writer, I have the privilege of creating characters, making a place for them to live, shaping their thoughts and destiny...but it all starts with their name. I have to know who I am dealing with after all. In real life,  I "randomly" chose the doctor-who-saved-my-life simply because her first name was Shirley, the same as my grandmother. Names are important. If I didn't go with my gut reaction, I wouldn't be typing this today.

Who?
I've known many people who seemingly "all of sudden" want to be called something different, adults and kids. My young neighbor wanted to be called Cinderella, for about a month last summer...and my son recently added a "y" to the end of his name. Musicians, actresses, writers...often switch to a pen name to better represent themselves. There is power in a name, so I respect this choice.


As for myself, my chosen name means....

Sylvie - belonging to, or from, the forest.....

Colette - victorious, or warrior (victorious warrior..) 

So, I am a victorious warrior from the forest

this fits well, since my artwork, (and free time), centers around trees and the forest....and..... well, I am symbolically 'fighting' my way through a thick, dark forest.... (Symbolism is incredibly important to me)

Even though some name meaning websites seem to operate on a generic horoscope mentality...I love to read through the name meanings of myself and people I know.  //Sylvie...."you are very versatile and creative...you are quick-minded and have the freedom of expression to mix easily with people....because your feelings and desires are so changeable, you are never satisfied with conditions as they are.....you have many ideas, plans, and ambitions....you seek change in order to have the opportunity for travel, new experiences, and new friends and associates.  (http://www.kabalarians.com/index.cfm)  that's all the nicey nice, I'll take it. :)

N is also for Narrate

Names help me narrate the story of my life. Everything has a storyline, some completely logical and easily understood....others not so much. Whether I am writing fiction or non-fiction, for children, adults or bloggy friends, I have to have a running narrative in my head to make it all work on the page. (and in real life....relationships don't follow a linear path. Since each person is essentially narrating their own story, it is a wonder when lasting connections are made.

Name it....

Words hold so much weight. If I call my tasks for the day, "impossible" or say that I am "exhausted" everything is more difficult. But if I call the next hard thing on my To Do list, "challenging or exciting" the energy shifts. SO....I said all that, to end with this....rename, reframe the things around you, that pile of bills, the dying car, the mountain of laundry....give yourself a new job title.....

because names matter. 

O is for oops

oops!   

O is for Oops

Blogger was down. Took my Q-post for a while. Now it is back. The backwards alphabet is now out of order. Oops. Oh well. Looks like I do not know my alphabet. But I do. I don't know much 'bout much, but I can sing my ABC's...and recite them backwards, quickly....while hopping on one foot, spinning in a circle, skipping, playing hopscotch....I know because that's how I learned.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.......zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba.....spin, hop, repeat...I know my alphabet, I love letters and words. They float around my brain all day, random phrases looking for connections with other lost words. Often, when I go to speak, something unexpected pops out...especially if I am working when someone tries to talk to me....


Looking foolish is something that cannot always be controlled.

Recently I sat down with an accomplished psychiatrist, a lady with lots of letters after her name. A woman with nearly twenty years of schooling, decades of working, loads of knowledge....who had a stroke. She fights daily to recall words. Aphasia is the medical term for her condition. The interview took much longer than what I had originally expected while she hunted and pecked for her words. Often she'd do some simple charades to help me figure out what she was trying to say. She also can't read well anymore, which is a sad twist since, from the looks of her home library, was a passion of hers.

In the course of the sometimes difficult interview, I saw the graceful way she handled the frustration, she may have felt foolish for not remembering a simple word, but it didn't show. She continued to fight and reach to be understood correctly. And I tried my best to capture her words. It turned into more than a simple question and answer session, for me at least. I studied her poise. I was angry at the irony of a woman who spent her life listening and talking, studying and helping...to suffer a stroke that hit the very part of her brain that dealt with language. I made a new commitment to my health, my work and my relationships...while sitting there scribbling answers and playing charades with a stranger.

People wouldn't know she had a stroke, they might just think she was stupid. That's also so sad to imagine. But you can't concern yourself with what others think.Oops, move on. Looking foolish is going to happen. 

~shrug~ 

I'll end with one of my shining moments

When stepping out of a truck, I sneezed....

I was wearing sunglasses

The force of my sneeze slammed my face into the side mirror

my glasses broke 

I wound up with a shiner! 

and yes, there were lots of people in the parking lot, I was going to my son's soccer game.

that's with a nice bit of makeup over top

~shrug~

Q is for Quiet.....shhhhhhh

~shhhhhh...q is for quiet

shhh

Writing is a quiet profession. I like that. It is also full of the unknown, will the publisher go bankrupt before the deal is final? will the website actually pay? will anyone read my work? will I be bombarded with hateful comments that attack everything from my thoughts, actions, background, parenting, future, choices.. to the way I do my hair?   Not to mention the ever present deadlines-that I live and breath for...only to watch the assignment sit on the editors desk for days, weeks...ugh!

All the intensity is basically boiling under the surface.  It's like being a professional duck. Calm, cool and collected on the surface- but paddling like crazy-mad under water. People around me can't see the intensity, sure, if they read my blog they would know how freaked out, insanely scared I am of certain things, but my neighbors wouldn't know it...

Interviewing is new to me......when I accepted a series of assignments, I alternated between the "of COURSE you can do this" and the "You are an idiot"  self talks. My good friend reminded me that I do this A LOT. it's okay, that's just how I am put together, an introvert with a raging adrenaline addiction.

Now that all is quiet again, inside and out...I have learned a few things;

* heels, perfume and lip gloss really are confidence boosters
* interviewing is just listening
* i have surprisingly bad handwriting...now
* people like to talk about themselves
* i LOVE my work

shhhhhh..... 

P is for Positive

Well, looks like Q is gone....blogger went down yesterday and took away posts. Unsure if it will be back, but I did write it, honest. q was for quiet. shhhh, 'nuf said.


Anyways, on to the letter P. P is for Positive. Pollyanna-esque, perfectly preposterously, passionately positive is a part of my personality.....under the surface. Truth is, I can be cynical with the rest of ya'll, sarcastic and hate on myself on occasion....but ultimately, I believe everything works out for the best. I see the sunny side of things and believe the best in people, often to my detriment...
A couple of years ago, I was thrown into a potentially crushing situation....but refused to "face facts"  instead I retreated into a new life.....  

A favorite quote from Robert Louis Stevenson

 Life is not a matter of having good cards, 

but of playing a poor hand well.

 

La, la, la.....I can't hear you..... (I'm too busy dreaming up something new) ......la, la, la.....jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...la, la, la*...


You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. You don't have charge of the constellations, but you do have charge of whether you read, develop new skills, and take new classes. Jim Rohn 


*actual text from the voice in my head

R is for Relax

R is for Relax

 Well, I made it through the majority of my interviews...one more today and then the mad dash to deadline. At least, that's how I have been looking at it, but

maybe, just maybe...I need to relax.

 The interviews went surprisingly well. I learned a lot, enjoyed the break from being in front of my computer and met interesting new people. 

Since my to-do list is packed the rest of the week; between work/school/home/kids/sports....must-do's and wanna-do's

I could easily cross sleep off the list and still not have time to do it all.

BUT

that is not going to happen. 

Lots of freelancers/moms/etc... have made that choice. I've made that choice, oftentimes running on less than 5 hours a night...or just a couple hours, plus a nap during the afternoon.

"No-sleep" is like a badge of honor...and I really like honor badges. 

I can trace this obsession back to my Girl Scout and 4H years,

but, like my old sashes from those days, it is time to put away the badge mentality.  

Relax, work sane, sleep. 

I'll at least try it as an experiment   

A clinical trial: what would happen if Sylvie took a break, slept, made time for nothing?

(there, I made sound like "work" ....have to ease into this ya' know)

S is for Six degrees of Separation

 It has been suggested that only 6 people stand between you and anyone else on the planet. This "Human spider Web" means that a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend will bring you and anyone together. It's one of those old theories that seems to prove itself true. Proposed in 1929, by Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy, I guess you could call him the original social networker. If he had access to the technology back then, maybe he would have developed Facebook or LinkedIn.  My "scary day" had me calling strangers on the phone...I didn't give any thought to possibly knowing anyone on my list. No, these were people with numerous letters after their names, people far and above little ol' me. (and I was right- I didn't know anyone on my list)

BUT

The first lady I interviewed was fascinating. (full disclosure when my work publishes...) and through our conversation, I discovered she knows the author of one of my favorite books, the book I literally kept strapped to my bike, just in case I had a hicop in my travels and had a moment to reread a passage. I am not easily starstruck, er, maybe I am, just in my own way. There are people I would love to meet- who probably wouldn't be considered "stars" in pop circles, but in my own little head they are elevated on beautiful white pedestals.

*following a rabbit trail here*
There is one individual who would never imagine himself a superhero, but he is...to me.  I've embarrassed myself enough over the years with my over the top praise and gratitude. It makes no logical sense, but I am convinced it is true.

excuse me,

"-in case you are reading this, thanks again!-  yes, I am talking directly to you."

okay, I'm back. 





Who hasn't had the strange connection on facebook....you 'friend' someone, only to discover they are already friends with your best friend from elementary school....how in the world do you two know each other?.....



Driving home from the interview with this amazing little lady, tears welled up in my eyes. (partly from stress relief that my first major step was complete) but also from the realization that this unexpected connection occurred. I love connecting the dots, seeing what can be pulled together from random chaos. I am content leaving the big picture to God, but these little glimpses make life a real adventure.

Take the next step...

                 who knows where it will lead you.....

                                                             or to whom.




 

T is for Tomorrow

These challenges, (the A to Z challenge and the current Z to A challenge) are set up so that Sundays are free days. Tomorrow is officially T-day....but I am blogging tonight, for tomorrow, to save time. :) 

The truth is...I am terrified of my tasks for tomorrow. Talking to strangers is not a strong point for me. Who am I kidding, talking to friends, family and acquaintances is not a strong point. I like people, I really do. I like to listen, I love to hear their stories, I am not comfortable talking.

There was a time in my life when I 'talked funny' - so, I met with a nice lady, a speech therapist, for a couple years. But while she was successful in straightening out my s's and t's and controlled my stutter...she couldn't fix the part inside of me that tells me to just, "shut your mouth already."

Tomorrow I have to find no less than 4 professionals in particular fields to interview. That means I have to make cold calls. I have to introduce myself. I have to set up a time to meet.

Now, I am not a complete putz, I have made cold calls before. I have introduced myself. I have set up appointments....for other people. When I worked in the agency, I had to make all sorts of arrangements for my boss. BUT...I could hide behind that curtain. I was calling FOR someone else, hiding behind their agenda. This time, I am calling for me. The person they will be meeting with, (IF I am successful), will be ME)   

Totally terrified.

But I am trying to psych myself up by remembering tiny successes...other times when I was a freaking mess like I am tonight...and lived. Teaching was HUGE. Walking into my first creative writing class was insanely terrifying....but I still talk to a couple of those students. Amazing, they loved my classes. (I did too) 


When this assignment was presented to me, I seriously considered turning it down. But, I have to take chances, do scary things, make myself do the next hardest thing. I may be scared...but I CRAVE this intense feeling of imminent failure. It's a part of my character. I like to throw myself into moving traffic just to see if I will survive. I take jobs too hard for me, say yes to things completely over my head, and make large mistakes in judgment...but life goes on. It's intriguing, in a freak show sort of way. 


Tomorrow morning I will be playing Frogger with my emotions.....

...hating and loving every moment of it.

Ta Da!   

U is for Unexpected!

I interrupt my previously planned post for U, to bring you....

U is for Unexpected

I had dinner plans Friday night with a group of friends. I'm not all about eating out...but somehow this tradition was started to meet up at a different restaurant each month. One of us plans the night and everyone else goes along with it. The girl in charge  last night chose an Italian restaurant. It was nice, although I can never understand going out for spaghetti...so I had calamari, and then crab cakes. :) 

When she announced her ideas for the "after party"  I was like, eh-whatever....others felt the same way and we actually ended up hitting a different place first, but that flopped for reasons beyond our control (fifteen thousand softball players took over the place)  so...we went with her first choice.

So UNEXPECTEDLY FUN

The place was an old, old, old establishment that I had been to once for a wedding reception. Too fancy, too over the top for my tastes....BUT...little did I know it had a cellar pub. Well hidden down the massive white staircase with columns of light was this dark, airport lounge looking place. Me and my bad attitude walked in and was instantly charmed. The place was packed!  Full of people dressed in their dancing best. People at least 20+ years older than everyone in my group. We found a couple booths over by the band who was sitting around eating large plates of cake and drinking coffee (and assorted beverages) 

We are all over 40, but felt like we were sitting at the kids table at a wedding. :) 

The background music was playing Love Shack, and people were *gasp* dancing...and having a great time. 

How could we not dance?  It was so much fun...no one knew us...no one cared....they were all just showing off their moves....some were remarkably good, others unbelievably bad. 

The band got up to play, all older guys, saxophone, keyboard, drums and a bass.....they played their funky hearts out. The dance floor was full to overflowing...we laughed and danced and people watched till who knows when... Unexpected fun is the BEST.

and...I get the irony. My latest posts and a few of my recent articles were related to aging in a way...to see first hand and up close older people really enjoying themselves was awesome. Plus, I know where to go now to dance where I won't feel old : )