Princess Bride - home edition

 

Since my cat - Little Liza Jane the Merciless - has been lovingly banished* from the house, a mouse decided to show off and take up residence in my bathroom. MY BATHROOM.  I had assumed there was a potential problem a'brewing,  -my clue; when I open my bathroom cupboard, there is a little breeze, and in the winter, sometimes even a little snow. I might as well toss a little welcome mat in there, maybe place a mint on a stack of washcloths.

but - Liza Jane was a fabulous manager.

Regardless of the shoddy construction of my home, she kept the rodent population at bay. Her mighty presence coupled with the corpses lying around the back door - was a great deterrent.  She seemed to hunt when there was new stress in the house - if I was not paying attention to her, working too much or not home, the birds and rabbits would pay - pay dearly. 




*Now though, she is a mere shadow of herself, and living her last days in the garage/garden/lawn - I've been giving her baths every other day (that she does not mind, almost enjoys I think) and feeding her fancy food - but can't let her stay in the house.

 (I feel like I need to continue explaining myself here - that sounds so cruel)

- See, she always thought of herself as an independent sort of gal. I never had to set up a litter box - she would just bang on the blinds when she needed a human to open the door for her. She did her business outside - hunted a little - and then let me know she wanted back in by banging on the window.

It was a good system. She was happy, I was happy, the neighbors were happy - she kept all the gardens free of rabbits and moles....but now, she is less aware or unwilling to make the effort, so she has been lovingly banished.  

Back to my bathroom guest...there was evidence a mouse was visiting - and that fact HAUNTED me at night. I lost sleep over the fact that an army of mice had invaded and were plotting my demise. They were going to get revenge. It was pay back time for all their relatives....

I would be woken up to a tiny rodent with a bad accent saying....

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."


There is an ugly side to creativity. Ugly and sleep-deprived.

I could not bring another cat into the house - not with poor Liza Jane sick, elderly and all, how cruel would that be - to replace her now. Awful.  I considered a giant snake - just set up a heat lamp in the bathroom cupboard - all's well. Or maybe an owl. I like owls. ....but settled on a mouse trap.
THAT I COULD NOT USE.

The little death trap - what?  No, I just can't do it. The little Inigo Montoya should be able to grow up and star on Criminal Minds.

 um, okay - ignore that last sentence.

This is turning out to be a very long post - fear makes me wordy.  Don't worry, this is the end....

This morning, my son went to take a shower and guess who decided to watch?  A baby mouse. A tiny, itty bitty baby mouse. Did my son yell?  Scream?  Stomp on it?  No, he grabbed a towel, picked it up and walked it outside. - More accurately, he stood in the hallway and asked me what he should do with it - I said YOU HAVE A MOUSE IN YOUR HAND???????    TAKE IT OUTSIDE!!!!!!  

Now, I realize if there is one baby mouse, there are probably more - but I am not going to think about that.
 It left peacefully. I will leave it at that for now.