Z is for Zoo

Z is for Zoo....last post in the April A to Z blogging challenge. I made it to the end with this blog. My other three blogs had to drop out of the race. Too many other deadlines to meet this month.
Today, I am fighting an earache that won't let up, so I am keeping it simple.

I love the Cleveland Zoo.

Several Ohioans told me that if I like Cleveland, I'd love Columbus. 

I took the trip, and I don't like it better 

at all.
I like my zoo and my familiar animals. The relaxing walk, and free Monday admission.
I like not seeing an "environmental advertisement" every two feet...."Columbus Zoo, I am talking to you."

But....I s'pose, it could just be the memories of growing up going to this particular zoo cloud my vision.
maybe

The following are a few of my favorite recent shots from "my" zoo

 Feel free to add a caption for Joe the camel and his pal........

 or this stare down.....

or the peeping Tom monkey......

And I'll go look for my heating pad for my ear. : (

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay,
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day.
Plenty of sunshine headin' my way,
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!"

Y is for Yesterday

Y is for Yesterday. In fact, yesterday was "Y day" in the A to Z blogging challenge, but from the royal wedding to my daughters formal...plus power outages throughout the day....I didn't get around to this post. 

How fitting.

Yesterday is gone now. 

What a difference a day makes.

 

The couple Prince William and Kate Middleton are now, Duke and Duchess and my daughter's gorgeous up-do, is washed out.  If you happened to catch the royal wedding, you would have seen the military precision in which every aspect was carried out. Every last detail was planned to the very second. That must have taken a lot of work, both in the planning and execution.

Yesterday there were probably people with stop watches stressing out.

Today, they can breathe. 

Yesterday, my daughter's building excitement over the dance was threatening to make her crazy. 

She was not only going to the dance, she was in charge of the photography. Her talent is undeniable, and so, the committee asked her to take the class photos and individual shots. 

So her stress was two-fold, she wanted to do an amazing job and she wanted to have an amazing time. 

Of course, both happened. 

But that was yesterday. 

Today, she is helping with gardens and laundry. 

"It seems like yesterday."

People say that all the time. 

but it's true. 

Events that happened twenty years ago often feel just as close as the things that have happened last week. 

What we do each and every day 

MATTERS

 

"When you are taking baby steps on your journey, remember ""Only the months and years can see what the days are building"

~Ariane Benefit  

(Ariane posted this as her facebook status today...in her words, "it's my version of a quote"  I like it. )

 

 

 

X is for X-ray

There are not many X words to choose from. I went with X-ray because I like to imagine I had a part in purchasing the latest and greatest X-ray machine for my local hospital. My kids have had X-rays on nearly every part of their bodies over the years. Arms, legs, wrists, abdomen ....and I have had countless ultrasounds and mammograms. Maybe I should just purchase my own....for peace of mind. It would probably be cheaper.

Sure they have hurt themselves several times. It isn't for lack of trying that they aren't always walking around with some sort of band aid, or ice pack. The thing is, I would rather my kids take the risk, jump and run and ride bikes and rollerblade....then sit on the sidelines of life.

But...if you could X-ray their confidence...it is as strong and healthy as can be. I made a very unpopular decision to let my son play football next season. He was flat out amazing last year. The coach never even let him off the field, he would go from offense to defense and only slip to the sidelines for a sip of water before the whistle blew.  At the end of the season party, his coach came up to me, held my arm and said, " It would be SIN to not let that boy play football."  He knew I was leaning toward putting him back in soccer....where he also excels. (in fact, he played for the high school varsity soccer team in their indoor season all winter...as a 6th grader)

I've considered the possibility of him getting hurt. I've listened to family and friends (soccer friends) tell me I am being reckless. I know the risks... but he is that dang good, with a great big heart and a passion for sports that won't be squashed by silly worries.

More visits to the X-ray machine are probably in his future. But that doesn't scare me.

Where ever he is....hospital or park....he has the same great attitude. X-ray that, baby.  :)

W is for Wonder

W is for Wonder....I am reposting an old post, so that I can get on with the Work of the Day...Writing....Wow, I am still in a state of wonder that this IS my Work. 

My all time favorite fairy tale scene is when all the fairies gather as godmothers over the infant sleeping beauty to bestow their gifts. My all time favorite song is Wonder, probably because it reminds

 me of this scene.

A quote by Rachel Carson completes this picture, she wished that she could bestow a birth gift on every child, and it would be, "a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantment of later years and the inevitable alienation from the sources of our strength."

My much anticipated paycheck arrived. Self employment has it's perks, timely paychecks are not one. In honor of it's arrival I took my daughter shopping. Being the perpetual 7 year old that I am, we headed straight for the school supplies. She needed a folder and I needed a new felt tip pen. Then I saw it. I gasped audibly, a box...of, can it be? Yes, yes it is. I saw a box of 120 brand new crayola crayons. Wow, what a find, had to have it.

Riding this high, and completing my shopping, I let my little girl pick out whatever toothpaste she wanted. There are a lot of choices. After much deliberation she chose the the sparkle fun crest, in a pump. We were both totally psyched with our selection.

I set mine on my desk when we returned home. She ran right upstairs to try out her find. About 20 minutes later she came down, noticeably perturbed. "It doesn't work," she pouted. "Your toothpaste? Do you need help opening it?" I asked innocently. "No," she said, " I brushed TWO TIMES and look, No sparkles!" teeth bared, hands crossed over chest, foot tapping.

She was duped, poor thing. Undeniably my offspring.

Later that evening I totally understood her frustration. Upon opening my treasure box, I found not a wondrous collection of new and old favorites, but two boxes of 48 and a single box of 24 crayons inside. Adding insult to injury, there wasn't even a sharpener.

You should not have to read the fine print on a box of crayons.

A child like sense of wonder can sometimes have odd results.

V is for Vision

V is for Vision....visualize....victory....
There is something to be said about knowing where you want to go. Whether or not you buy into the whole "Secret" theory, or other well-played marketing strategy, visualizing what you want to see happen in the future produces a whole lot more success than just flopping around in the dark.  Setting goals and visualizing success is better than the alternative. So even if you don't take the time to create "Vision Boards" or have a list of affirmations on your mirror, visualizing what you want to see happen often works.

V is also for Victim. After a string of bad events in my life, I could have played the victim card. It would have been easy. I could have used that as an excuse....but (aside from a few whiny, woe is me moments) I realized that would really serve little purpose. I don't want my kids to see me as a victim and give them that card to play as their birthright. No, something happened. Move on.

V is also for Veyda, my little girl. Her unusual name means "beloved" in Hebrew. It is the feminine form of David. She was my miracle baby. It was an extremely dangerous pregnancy, since I had to have an even more dangerous surgery only a few months before she was conceived....much to the doctors horror. My doctor did not believe I could even be pregnant, let alone carry this baby to term....
Every appointment she'd outline everything that might go wrong, the best was, "if your tummy starts to feel warm to the touch, that probably means internal bleeding and your chance of survival is slim" Thanks doc.
Veyda made it to nearly 8 months....she's healthy, I'm healthy and we are blessed to have her in our life.
 (Click here for the rest of the story)

V is also for Vanilla. I just have to say, Vanilla is NOT the same as plain or boring. Vanilla is a flavor. You can choose vanilla and still have a personality. Just saying.

Veyda

U is for Ukulele

U is for Ukulele.....

This post for the A to Z blogging challenge was easy.

I hardly ever see my son without his little Ophelia, 

as he named his first Ukulele. 

He taught himself how to play through all the unique websites available, like this one, Uke Hunt . 

 

his biggest fan is his little sis 

little bro is slightly amused

  playing happy birthday to his sister

                                                                                  
His passion for the uke has spread to his extremely musical girlfriend. This little chic can play any instrument under the sun. In fact, she rented a cello, just for fun, so she could try it out. Of course she nearly mastered the thing.  Anyways, don't they look all cute and old couple-ish with their little ukulele's.

Unusual passions, like the ukulele, call for uncommon confidence and an unwavering faith in your abilities. Sometimes I look at my son and realize, I did an undeniably good job. :) 

T is for Tree

T is for tree....

not the trees that I paint, nor the tree sculptures....

not even the forest I love to wander in near my house.

No, the tree I am dedicating this blog post to is very deserving. He is a true survivor, my Christmas tree. 

Instead of tossing my cut tree, like I do each and every year...

(sometime between Christmas day and New Years Eve.... )

I set it outside, stand and all. 

 

It sat on my patio so the kids and I could decorate it for the birds.....

we did a little bit..

until I realized I was luring the poor hungry birds to their ultimate death. 

Between my calico cat and my dog, birds are not safe....

and I did not want to witness any more violence.

But, the tree stayed. It just sat there through blizzards, ice storms, snow and more snow... thunderstorms, heat and on and on.....

.instead of dying, that tree got healthier and healthier.  

It is now April 23, months after we cut it down. CUT it down, this thing should have died.....between the weather and the fact that, oh, I don't know...does not have roots.  

It is quite alive though, not a dropped needle. 

Remarkable.

I will post pics of that gorgeous Christmas tree, sitting in the Christmas tree stand still....later.

It is a little late, and this Easter Bunny has lots of work to do still....

I am also playing the Tooth Fairy tonight,

 busy night in make believe land

favorite shot of my daughter back when she wore outfits like this everyday

rollerblading with fairy wings 

a leotard 

and safety gear

too cute 

and just as magical as the never-say-die Christmas tree!

 

 

S is for Self Sabotage

S is for Self Sabotage

Self Sabotage, I have this concept down to a science.

I actually have a few main scenarios that I follow depending on what I am sabotaging. 

Get psyched about a project, plan it down the minut details, plan some more, get more excited, start working on it....take a break, decide it wasn't quite worth it and fizzle out. Beat myself up that I didn't follow through...ooo shiny thing....get psyched about a new project, start planning....

or

Work extra hard, impress all the right people. Get my foot in the door. Procrastinate. Don't say no to anything. Start too many side projects, get overloaded, lose opportunities.



or


Start new workout/diet/schedule go gung ho for a few days, skip one workout/make a "bad" food choice/stay up too late....sabotage.


or


Wait until the last possible moment to get started on a project. Make it as difficult as possible to pull it together by the deadline, either by not having the right material on hand, or by running on fumes because I stayed up too late again, or had too much caffeine, or any amount of sugar. (I don't handle sugar well)

It's like part of me is a double agent, a mole. Working both sides against me.  The bigger my dream, the harder the spy works to block me from the right path. Oh, I know where it is and what needs to be done, but will make it physically impossible to pursue by pushing myself to do something else first....and then I am too tired to bother with the big thing.

I can see the pattens..and yet at this moment, as I am typing this post, I am self sabotaging myself. I have financial goals to hit by the end of this month...but, am putting off doing what needs to be done AND, have only managed a few hours of sleep last night. Time to take out the mole.

Steps to regain control;

1. Sleep- zombies make too many mistakes

2. Write out a plan each morning - I know when I do, I do well

3. K.I.S.S.  (keep it simple, stupid - or silly)....stop trying to cram more and more into a workday.

4. finally, drink more water- just because I feel better when I do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed my little therapy session.

I used to own this book, Fire Your Shrink!: Do-It-Yourself Strategies for Changing Your Life and Everyone in It....but my self sabotager gave it away. From what I remember it was really good. May have to look it up again.

 WOW, I AM GOOD!  Not only did I write a post about self sabotage...I SPELLED it wrong!  

Changed it...but that doesn't seem to change the address, ah well, how apropos.

R is for Road Runner

Strangely enough, MSNBC released a study that states CHEERY people die sooner. 

Yep, that's what it says, Stress can be good for you.

Serious people may live longer than those with sunny disposition.... 

a new book, “The Longevity Project.” 

outlines some ideas that

I decided to relate to Road Runner and Wile E Coyote.  

Why?  because it is a stressful day, the letter of the day is R and I love to philosophically revisit Looney Tunes whenever possible. 

 Look at the serious Wile E. According to this study, he will live longer than the strangely cheerful Road Runner. Why is that bird smiling?  He is being chased by an ACME rocket for goodness sake. No grasp on reality.  The book says, if you are an exceedingly sunny person, tone it down a bit. The author says, optimistic people tend not to be as careful as those who have a more serious take on life.

hmmm....

Road Runner is a loner. You never saw him relating to any other bird. Ralph E. Wolf, who must be a close cousin of Wile E, and Sam the Sheepdog were friends...at least until they punched the time clock. The study says to, Reach out and touch someone — on a regular basis. This is pretty standard stuff, but people who connect with friends and family tend to live longer.

Skip the gym. A strange answer for "longevity," but it is more important to do something active that you love, rather than dragging yourself to the gym. And as for the perpetually running road runner....when they started this study back in the 1920s people didn't jog, 'nuf said. 

  Don’t retire early. Keep working to stay alive. Continually productive individuals lived much longer than those who cut out early. They also propose that stress is good. If you love your work, don’t sweat the stress.

Okay, R for Road Runner is a RIDICULOUS stretch....Relax, happy R day!

Other possibilities for the letter R included some favorites of mine;
Red Riding Hood

Roam
Ready or not
and
Red
but I REALLY need a dose of ridiculous today

Beep, Beep!

Q is for Quit

Stop the madness.  Q is for Quit.  Just Quit it already. 

 What is dragging you down?  What can you cut from your life with little regret?  

What is IMPORTANT? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are things in your life ( and mine) that we keep doing....fully aware that these crazy makers are not leading us to our dreams.  I had been writing for every company under the sun that hired me, teaching every possible class period offered, making art to show and sell......because I could, or so I thought.  But, in reality I was hurting my chances at ever being successful in any area. Stretched too thin is an understatement. Although I am writing this in past tense, I am actually still in the midst of figuring out what to quit and what to keep. Recently, I paired down the companies I write for...some say this isn't a smart move, that I should keep my options open. Well, I think doing excellent work will open more doors than just managing to keep up with bare minimum quotas. 

There is something to be said for having multiple streams of income, and I am not discounting this, just taking a step back to figure out where this freight train is leading me. My goals may not be the same as the writer who maintains 10 different freelance accounts. Right now, my writing eggs are centralized in two main baskets, with a third on the shelf. This gives me time to concentrate on other writing goals...and LIFE goals.  

 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
~Albert Einstein

P is for Prize!

The perpetually, positively pleasing Word Nerd recently presented me with this Prestigious PRIZE! 

Now, the prize rules state that I need to do four simple things.....pretty please.

1. Thank and link back to the person giving you the award. Thanks, Word Nerd!
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs you think deserve this award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

7 Things About Me:

*1. I am freakishly strong for a girl. Currently working through P90X,along with my kids....they are amazed mom can do more push-ups than them...it's good for them to realize my power : )
*2. I collect costumes. (no longer as proud of this...but it's true)
*3. I cannot sing...at ALL
*4. I think water is the cure all. Kids sick?  drink more water, headache? water, muscles sore? water. cranky? go drink a glass of water...it's one of those phrases my kids will laugh about when I am....
*5. I plan on living well over 100. Plan on planning my 75th high school reunion, in fact, at my 25th, I started asking for volunteers.
*6. Mice freak me out. hamsters, rats, gerbils, moles... I imagine them Tom and Jerry style, plotting their revenge on the human race with little gangster hats and Tommy guns. I don't care if that is irrational....on the other hand, I love cats, owls, even snakes. You know, building my army- just in case.
*7. Finally, I am not a "baby" person. I LOVE *MY* babies, but don't go gaga over just any random baby.
That may sound heartless, it's not. I have a lot of respect for babies and children, but they are people, not stuffed animals. By the way, I (used to) foster girls and love them truly madly deeply...and will protect fiercely, just not going to stand in line to hold someone's baby just because it is a baby.

Wow, that probably does make me sound heartless....thought about switching *7 to talk about my love of puppets, since it is P day and all....but I am leaving it. This is my Secrets about Secrets blog after all. P.C. Nazis not welcome. 

Now, who to bestow this Pretty Prize.... 

O is for Oh No, not again

 Okee dokee. It happened again.  I wrote about the "Wonder Woman Incident" below in my N post for the A to Z challenge. If that was all, it would have been enough....but no, of course not. Today's letter O is brought to you by the phrase Oh No!   When I am on a roll...


Sunday was a costume party for my sixteen year old niece...I even blogged about the invite back in March, "Grease-inspired Costume Party"   after outlining probable costume ideas, I even wrote this haunting sentence, ".....really not a fan of "forced uniforms" regardless if it is a creative theme. Rebellious at heart. Will probably fit right into a Rizzo themed pink lady costume with this attitude."  


Well, guess what?  I went as my version of a pink lady.  Leather skirt, sky high black patent leather platform pumps, black and white striped t-shirt, a cropped black cardigan and a silky scarf tied around my neck. I wore bright lipstick and painted my nails hot pink. My sixteen year old daughter did much the same. We thought we were "all that" on the way to the party.  I even drove my black mustang with the hot pink detailing. 

Once entering the diner....we realized we were "all that.. and a big ol' sack of potatoes" 


Sure, some people dressed up....if you call a white T-shirt and blue jeans "dressed up"  or a ponytail tied with a scarf. There were even a few poodle skirts...on the eight year olds. The hostess, the one I blogged about and said, "and I know it will as authentic and over the top as possible....this lady is all about authenticity"
 she was wearing a red and white polka dot blouse, jeans and a pair of regular flats, technically moccasins, not even TRYING if you ask me. 


One other minor detail...I am tall compared to my in-laws. Freakishly tall. Amazon woman tall. These 5 foot-nothing folks were like ants to me in my sky-high black patent leather pumps. No, fading into the background for me, or my freak-of-nature 5'7" daughter, who was wisely wearing black flats.

We quickly found a seat at the counter while I frantically texted  "it happened AGAIN"  Only me, this doesn't happen to Oprah, she has people for just this sort of situation. I should have cased the joint, packed a back-up outfit in my trunk.....faked an illness, amnesia, anything would have been better than hanging around in my hooker get-up among the proper.

This has been some weekend. I think I can blame part of my wild misjudgment of social norms on the funeral...those things always throw me for a loop. The resulting failures were my attempt to LIVE in the MOMENT...unfortunately the moments seemed stuck in time as I foolishly stumbled through and completely misjudged situations.

Since I am on such a roll...I am going to link to a blog that has little to do with the letter O....

Hyperbole and a Half    enjoy "The Awkward Moment" cartoons and if you are Observant, you will see the connection, don't worry it's Obvious.

  off the record....it was a LAME costume party....  

 the stripes are all wonky...and the leather seems to have added 20 pounds...but there is my ridiculous get up...minus the ruby red lips, that was applied closer to the party.

N is for Nonconformist

N is for nonconformist.

I like this word and what it stands for, but probably not for the reasons you would expect. 

No, I like this particular word because it basically self destructs the moment it is used. 

I like that. 

It won't be put in a box. 

 

The dictionary defines it as; 

one who does not conform to, or refuses to be bound by, accepted beliefs, customs, or practices. 

 

But, in denying accepted beliefs, customs and practices...you are often thrown into a different set of beliefs, customs and practices designed to keep the nonconformist label. 

It is not about what you wear, or the music you listen to. 

Unless you follow the South Park definition, "If you want to be one of the nonconformists all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do"

 

I will attempt to explain a bit here...scatterbrained individuals like myself sometimes succeed in being nonconformist by accident. Failing to understand or recognize what is accepted or  expected is a good way to show your nonconformist tendencies. 

 

Case in point: today was a Super Hero birthday party for my nephew. He is turning six and is obsessive about Super Heroes. In fact, on the phone with him the other day, he called me Aunt Wonder Woman. Somehow this, combined with the rest of the conversation and my own warped brain led me to believe it would be a fun idea to show up at the birthday party dressed up. In fact I had my whole family dressed as different Super Heroes. I was Wonder Woman, minus the actual leotard...just a skirt with a red shirt, "official headband, wristlets, belt and cape."  My daughter was an adorable version of the Green Hornet, the other was cat woman followed by two masked crusaders. 

We bounded into the house in costume...only to be greeted by an extremely subdued and surprisingly mature crowd, kids included. Raised eyebrows and confused smirks met our ridiculous get ups. 

I misjudged, but decided I really didn't care. 

Nonconformists often look absurd to others.

 

Ting Tings Not My Name 

this post will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2 .....never...nope, not conforming to a countdown

in fact, this message lives on 

 

I "get" the irony of posting a nonconformist blog post on the proper day of the A to Z blogging challenge, but that's the beauty of the word, it is undefinable, competitively, obsessively blogging 

 my unique view of the world

cuz I can

 

 

M is for Moment

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. 

And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. 

Right now.

I had a completely different post planned for M, but I just came home from a painful wake and realized, once again, how fleeting life is. How people are just people. I hugged, laughed and cried with a roomful of people I hadn't seen, for the most part,  for over ten years. 

It didn't matter at that moment. We know each other. We care about each other. 

Time is passing by so fast. 

(really, I did not plan on getting all philosophical today)  

Moments are Magical 

Pay attention

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new bloggy friend, Word Nerd, used my post on making a list of 100 favorite things to fulfill her L requirement on the A to Z blogging challenge. Her list is perfectly, uniquely hers-but I can see some definite clues to being a true kindred spirit. For example, #48. Ratty old Levis—holey knees earn them bonus points. #49. Books. Lots and lots of books. #68. My well-broken-in cowboy boots and Betty White. Seriously, this is clearly one cool chic.

L is for Leap

The A to Z blogging challenge brings us to the Letter L. There are so many L words that could star today, life, love, linger, laugh...I decided to give the spotlight to LEAP, with supportive roles granted to several others.

Leap to me defines my favorite way to LIVE. 

Decide what I want to do and then LEAP in to the unknown.

I LOVE making giant, frightening LEAPS...

Some people much smarter than I, depend on education, training and other people to determine if they are worthy of a new role. I recently discovered a highly talented art teacher in my school has NEVER shown her art. In fact, the art she has is mainly the result of assignments given to her in college -college classes she graduated from a full 20+ years ago....or examples for teaching elementary school students. 

That perplexes me, while she holds a fine arts degree and talent oozes out her pores, she never took a leap. She said, she was never asked. 

hmmm

DON'T WAIT TO BE ASKED

Just LEAP! 

 and then...laugh at yourself (mistakes will happen), linger around the new territory, open all the doors, look under all the rocks, find your own way...and finally, 

don't LOOK back! 

 

You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly posses all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality. ~ Flonda Scott Maxwell

write a book, show your art, dance, play roller derby, sky dive, hike, bungee jump, scuba dive 

whatever your dream

LEAP

Linger by the Cranberries

love this song, this band

if you want to laugh...enjoy this Veggietale

I LOVE MY LIPS 

Larry the Cucumber

K is for Kaleidoscope, Kryptonite and Kangaroos - 'Kay?

K is for...Kaleidoscope

shattered.

dangerous.

painful.

use caution...

take a chance.

sweep up the shards.

pile up.

spin around.

hold to the light.

mesmerizing.

kaleidoscope heart.

~sylvie branch 2008

Written when my heart felt like it was breaking, no shattering into tiny painful shards. Even then, in the midst of it all, my second instinct (after allowing a good wallow in the pain) was to declare an end to it. Sweep up the pieces....Keep it together girl....the pain will not be permanent.....

Poetry is Kryptonite to pain.

Let your real feelings spill out on the page.

What you read may surprise you.

When I was running the art show circuit myself, showing my artwork, selling pieces on Etsy and Artfire, I hesitated sharing the details of my work and events with friends, coworkers and family. Mostly because my art work and poetry tends to have a dark undertone. This isn't because I am dark...rather, it keeps me from being dark and depressed. Like anyone, my life has been peppered with painful experiences; sudden deaths, shattering news, misunderstandings that cannot be mended, multiple miscarriages, financial crisis and health scares....and dealing with the broken foster care system.

One painful- Kaliedoscope-heart making moment included my two sweet foster girls. I hadn't planned on fostering, but they were in essence dropped in my lap. After completely changing my life, falling madly in love with them and setting up to adopt...they were ripped away. The faulty reasoning and legalize that surrounded those poor girls broke my heart. Helpless to do anything about it...I started painting more and more...and turned to poetry. Poetry is not a planned exercise for me. I don't set about to write a poem, it basically pops into my head fully formed just waiting for me to write it out. That's what is so magical about the Kaliedoscope poem to me. It didn't go through rough drafts, or have an intended market..but it did make me realize how resilient I am and how this is just another piece in the puzzle of my life.

K is for Kangaroos. 

Little story...Chloe, one of my foster girls, was a highly excitable five year old. Perpetually in utter awe of the world around her. She lived a "sheltered city life" really only seeing bad things on TV and in real life before coming to live with us. One day while driving through Litchfield, she spotted animals in the field and exclaimed in her deep nasal voice 

KANGAROOS!!!!!

    No, Litchfield does not have a Kangaroo farm. We were passing an alpaca farm and she had NO idea what those critters were. When everyone in the car laughed and corrected her, she was not the least bit embarrassed, or convinced. She proceeded to tell everyone we met from then on about the Kangaroos.
(and so does everyone who was in the car that day...her excitement was contagious and makes up happy just to imitate the funny way she said Kan -ga -ROOOOOS) 

'Kay that's about it 

Yesterdays A to Z challenge went to the K-9's apparently. After checking out my Junie B's entry, I headed over to a couple new favorite blogs, Confessions of a Watery Tart and met Joel Johnson and then visited Marie Ann's Missives and became acquainted with Jethro the Jack Russel Terror. Go ahead, check them out. 

J is for Junie B

My name is Junie B. 'Cept I don't know what the B stands for. The people just say that, and that's all.
I am five years old. I don't know what happened exactly. See I was losted and scared and hungry, very hungry. Some people put me in their car and then fed me. The next day these super nice people came and took me home. I don't know how they knew I was there, but they liked me right away. I don't know why. Beweave it or not, I wasn't very a cutie back then. No sirree, my hair was ugly and I acted very scared all the time, cuz I was... but they loved me and loved me and now I am very happy.

In fact some of my favoritest things to do in the whole world is go to this place with my people. We walk and walk and sometimes if I am a lucky I see a duck or a deer. They MAKE ME VERY EXCITED.

Life is good now. I sleep in a cozy basket, wake up when I want to and go outside. Then I eat and drink as much water as I want. The girl takes me for a long walk and then I nap. Sometimes I like to watch TV, the people like to watch balls as much as I do, can you believe that?  I think they call it basketball, but that can't be right, my basket doesn't have a big hole in it. I think it is just fetch.

 I love everything about my life...cept for the big meanie Liza Jane. I don't like that cat. She scares me very much. See, she won't even show her face. She has a real attitude. But my people like her so I guess I have to deal with it.

 Then there is that Louie. Liza and Louie are both twelve years old. So they think they know it all. Most of the time I just do my own thing and leave those two big meanies alone. But sometimes they play with me. They are okay then. I am not gushy about them, but I sometimes like to sleep on that Louie's old attractive pillow and he lets me.



Well that's all. Mrs.asked me to help her out today since she is working very much.

 See you later, crocodile!
After a while, alligator! 


Thanks, Junie B for taking care of the letter of the day in the A to Z blogging challenge. ~Sylvie

I is for Interests

The A to Z blogging challenge brings us to I. The letter I begins many of my favorite words, Interests, Identity, Impossible....and I. It is incredibly important to respect the "I" that is me....and the "I" that is you.  

 INTERESTS

One of my favorite writing exercises of all time was one I gleaned from absorbing Julia Cameron's Artist Way teachings. She is one of many people who pushed me over the cliff into the free-falling freelance life I have today. Her idea of writing a list of 100 things that you love intrigued me. It seemed incredibly daunting at first, at the time having my very own opinion was foreign to me. I lived off of what others thought and said, believed and taught. I didn't have the confidence to say I liked something in the presence of someone who had a different opinion. Sad but true.

My students ranged in age from 5 to 18. Teaching creative writing was a fun way to play with imagination and story telling. We constructed silly poems, wrote letters to book characters and laughed a lot. For the most part they liked my lesson plans. But I forced this "list of 100 favorites" on them. It was important to me.
Every so often I revisit my list, add a line or two, cross out something that no longer interests me and just figure out who this person I refer to as I is.  

IDENTITY

     There is magic in this exercise. 

Write your list of 100. Mine include big ticket items like rivers, forests and shoes...and more specific things like red cowgirl boots, strong black coffee in a tall white ceramic mug and blue hydrangeas.

INTERRUPTIONS

While faithfully writing out your list, items may pop into your head that you do NOT like....

start an alternate list of those things, just to clear the noggin and be clear.

While I love art, I do not like still life paintings.

I may love shoes, but Crocs make me cringe.

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

IMPOSSIBLE

A little more background, or spilling secrets...another exercise in the book involved declaring what you would do if you had an alternate life; my big three were, be an artist, writer and teacher. At that moment in time I was far from any of those things....strangely though, all three became my reality.

"What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible." ~ Theodore Roethke

IF

Now, what would you try IF you didn't have to do it perfectly?  What are you willing to do badly?  I have several things in this list. Things I am pretty sure I will not do well, may even fail wildly...but want to try.

Now that I have been there, tried that..I can report it's not so bad. Teaching was a big one for me. When I was asked to teach those creative writing classes, I could feel my heart trying to escape my chest. Talking in front of a group of people...even if the people in question were only 4 foot tall, petrified me. I committed to giving it a shot though...and loved it.  Roller derby was on that list several years ago...and now, my skater name is Skaty Cakes. ;)  Welding was another....I like metal art and wanted to give it a try. The artist showing me how commented on how fearless I was with the torch...then proceeded to tell me all the things I didn't consider. Turns out I wasn't fearless, just too clueless to realize the danger involved.

 "Do one thing every day that scares you" ~Eleanor Roosevelt 

 that's me in the pink helmet and crazy smile

 

H is for Highway to Home

 Halleluia I am Home!   My H post of the day for the A to Z blogging challenge refers to my recent art show excursion. Feels like I have been gone a week...been run over by a truck and had my brains sucked out through a straw...but it was only from Friday morning to Saturday night. *hmmpff*

My alternative title for this post was going to be
" H: Heat-seeking-Hearing Loss on the Highway makes me Happy" 
That wordy title perfectly sums up my trip home today. 

And, since this blog is called Secrets about Secrets...let me spill some secrets from my ride home. 

Since I traveled solo - due to the large art and my firmly ingrained anti-social tendencies- I was able to blast the heat and the radio to the max. My toes were hot - and body could feel the music ... even as my eardrums were no doubt being damaged. Hence, the heat seeking/hearing loss...

It is not a habit of mine....neither the heat or the loud music. Not a habit, just a treat. Like the black coffeee and Twizzlers for dinner. I don't get the opportunity to thaw my ice-cold toes often.  My kids were somehow born with their very own internal furnaces. And the whole loud music thing is just a treat - saved for long stretches of highway and solo trips. You can't very well have blaring music with a car-full of people. Well, *you* could maybe...but I keep that my little secret.

Besides, my traveling music includes an eclectic mix of girl power, Frank Sinatra, ting tings, cake, various movie soundtracks, gospel and classical tracks. And I love to flip at will...if you were not ADD before riding in the car with me...you will be.  ( that is if I did this in front of anyone - which I won't - so you are safe)

Since I am spilling secrets, let me share more of my horrible habits while hightailing it down the highway...I keep a notebook next to me, in case something interesting pops into my head, or a truck with a cool looking lion passes by and I just feel the urge to sketch it...yes, while driving. I also drink a lot of coffee, or tea depending upon how health conscious I am feeling, so I keep a thermos in the backseat...and can pour while driving. Those are my "letter H" secrets...shhhhh

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Home sweet Home

and

Good Night Moon

..quiet old lady whispering "hush"

G is for Galaxy

G is for Galaxy....

A to Z blogging challenge

I am heading down to judge a state wide art competition for grades 3-12 today. In fact, I am charge of all the artwork from my school - it is a big responsibility, I worry all the way through this event - and the weeks and months leading up to it- if I can handle it. If I can safely transport all my students best work without any damage. It would have to rain today. Why I volunteer for such a job, I have no idea. Seriously, it is not so wise to give a flighty artist so much responsibility.

or so I say. 

Look at the images from NASA...the youtube video posted above it just remarkable. God himself is an artist, those colors, the composition - Gorgeous, simply gorgeous. Heavens declare his Glory.

 

 All the artwork, the massive amount of paperwork and gobs of brain power required to get through this weekend...

is nothing more than a blip on the radar

no, not even a blip

this day will be here and gone

the beautiful art work that these talented kids worked on

gone

but the ridiculously massive galaxies remain

goodness

we are so small

*giggles nervously*

gee golly that's

great